


Karma

by eneli



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Pain, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), fluff :), hehe, i always forget how to tag, it’s fluff i promise hehe, jk, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 12:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eneli/pseuds/eneli
Summary: Tommy inhales deeply as he lowers himself into the seat.“So, Tommy, how are you?” Puffy asks from behind the desk, pen twirling in her hand.or,Tommy visits Puffy
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream & TommyInnit
Comments: 27
Kudos: 336
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	Karma

**Author's Note:**

> hehe
> 
> song fic my beloved

Tommy inhales deeply as he lowers himself into the seat.

“So, Tommy, how are you?” Puffy asks from behind the desk, pen twirling in her hand.

“Fine,” He says immediately, waving a hand, “Everything’s fine. Don’t even know why I booked this fucking appointment,” He laughs, eyes glued to the desk. His hands twist in his lap, trembling.

Puffy is silent for a moment, lips pursed. “Are you sure?” She questions gently, “Because I think you want to be here.”

Tommy hums.

Puffy’s eyes scan him, raking over his expression. It makes him squirm. 

“Have you been sleeping?”

He nods. Maybe too quickly. “Yeah, yeah,” He says, “Lots of sleep.”

The woman tilts her head. “You look tired.”

Tommy barks out a laugh, “Always am.”

Puffy taps her pen against the desk lightly, “Tommy,” She sighs, “You know this doesn’t work. How are you?”

“I’m good,” He nods, “I’m real good. Y’know, just got my house back and shit. I’m fucking good.”

“Have you hung out with anyone?”

“Uh,” He pauses, “Yeah, Sam Nook he-“

“No, Tommy, I mean your friends,” She amends.

He bristles, “Sam Nook is my friend.”

“Tommy, he’s not- he’s not-“ Puffy cuts herself off. “Okay,” She agrees, “Anyone else?”

He hums, leg jiggling in an uncontrollable motion. “No.”

Puffy stares at him, eyes softening, “What about Tubbo?”

He freezes. “What about him?”

“Have you seen him recently?”

He shakes his head with a laugh, “Nah, nah. He’s just - he’s uh, he’s got other things. Married and all, did you know he has a son?” Tommy chuckles, voice brittle. “Did you - did you know that? He uh, he has a son. Micheal. Cool kid.”

“Do you think he’s avoiding you?” Puffy asks before pausing, “Are you avoiding him?”

Tommy shakes his head rapidly, “No, no. It’s just - just, y’know, our schedules haven’t lined up and it’s all been a bit fucking wild.”

“Tommy, you deserve to see your friends,” She says softly. 

“I -I,” He stumbles, “I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” He nods, “Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“Tommy, how are you feeling? Are you overwhelmed? Are we moving too fast?”

Tommy shakes his head, “No, _no_ . I’m fucking-“ He inhales, “I’m _fine.”_

Puffy’s expression turns sorrowful, “If you were fine, you wouldn’t be here.”

“But - but I _am_ fine,” He insists. “You - you die once and suddenly you’re - you’re fucking fragile and delicate and _no one_ wants to be around you.”

He blinks rapidly. “I’m fine. I’ve been good. I’ve been so good. I’ve been so good this year.”

He looks up at her for the first time, expression pleading. “So where’s the fucking karma? When does this get _better?_ I’m - I’m trying so hard to be fucking normal and no one wants to talk to me! I’m - I’m so fucking _tired,”_ He scrubs under his eyes viciously.

“You want to be treated like normal?”

He nods, “Yes, I - I want everything to go back to fucking normal. I - I want my best friend back and - and-“ He folds in on himself in the seat, fingers gripping at his shirt as he muffles his sobs.

“Am - am I crazier than other patients?” He whispers.

Puffy sighs, “Tommy, you’re my first.”

He lets out a wet snort, lips trembling into a smile. “Well that’s fucking great.”

There’s silence for a moment.

“Tommy, when you say normal, what do you mean?”

“I- I,” He buffers.

_“Tommy, you’re like a brother to me.”_

He shudders, eyes squeezed right.

_“It’s always been me and you Tubbo, against Dream.”_

“I-“

_“Tommy, let’s be the bad guys.”_

He shakes his head frantically, “No, no. I-“

_“Welcome home, Theseus.”_

“ _No,”_ He slaps his palms over his ears.

_“Right now Tommy, you, your presence here, is not the best for this nation.”_

“I- I want-“

_“I heard there was a special place-“_

“I want to go back to the beginning!”

He opens his eyes, wide and crazed and desperate and so _so_ miserable. “I want to go back. I want to go back to the beginning. When - when I was _okay._ When- when I had Wi- Wilbur and Tubbo and my discs. When I had my _home_.”

“You want Wilbur back?”

Tommy shakes his head roughly, “No, no, no. He- he can’t come back. Not- not now, not ever. He’s - he’s not the _same_ Puffy,” He whispers, fear clouding his eyes. “He’s not the same.”

“But then, what do you want?” 

“I don’t _know,”_ He sobs. “I- I just want to - to- I’ve done everything right. I have, haven’t I? I’ve done everything right? I’ve - I’ve been so good. I’ve been working my ass off. I’ve been so good, but - but it’s still getting _harder._ I’ve been so good this year.”

“What’s getting harder Tommy?”

“ _Living,”_ He sobs. “Living is so hard. I - I think death was easier. Why is this so hard?” 

“Death was easier?”

“Yes - well, no, it was - it was - I don’t want to fucking think about it,” He grits his teeth. “I just - I thought if I was ever brought back, that - that it’d feel better than _this._ When does it get better? Did I deserve this?” He begs, tears filling his eyes, an ocean resting on his lashes. 

“No, Tommy, you never deserved this.”

“But then _why?_ When do I get my happy ending?” He sobs, fingers reaching up to grasp at strands. “Why don’t I get to be happy. I’ve been so good and still I’m lonely and stressed out and - and fucking _dead.”_

“You’re dead?”

He shrugs, shoulders trembling., “May as well be. Everyone treats me like it. I feel like it. I - I - Puffy how do I live?”

Puffy stares at him. “You are living, Tommy.”

“No, _no_ ,” He growls, eyes turning harsh. “I’m not. I’m fucking not. This - this isn’t living.”

“Aren’t you breathing? Doesn’t your heart beat?”

He shakes his head, “I don’t know, I don’t _know._ It feels like I’m drowning. Please, _please,_ just - just give a diagnosis, of why I’m so hollow. Please give me instructions, I _promise_ I’ll follow,” He begs, tears spilling over as he stares up at her, desperate.

“Tommy, you’re getting better.”

He shakes his head, rocking back on the chair. “No, no, _no._ You say that I’m better, why don’t I feel better?”

“It won’t feel like it at first, it’s hard I know. But you are.”

He laughs, broken and cracked. “You’ve got it wrong. So fucking wrong. I- I don’t think this world is for me. I - I know miracles happen and happy endings exist, but - but I don’t think they exist for me.”

“Tommy-“

“No, no, it’s fine. You tried your best. I - I just -“ He heaves shakily, fingers twitching. “I’m tired.”

“I know. That’s okay.”

He nods, once, then twice and then again. A cry slips past his lips and then he’s shaking violently as the floodgates pour open. 

“I’m so tired. I’ve been so good this year. I’ve been so good. I’ve tried _so_ hard to do the - the right thing. But - but was I even right? Was I doing the right thing? Am - am I being punished? Is this my punishment? I - I thought I was doing the right thing. I - I just wanted my _brother_ ,” He sobs, “I wanted my brother and I wanted Tubbo and I wanted to - to be happy in our nation. But - but maybe - maybe I was wrong.”

“Do you feel wrong?”

Tommy inhales deeply, shuddering as the tears dry. He’s left feeling so, so hollow. Eyes dulled. He looks up at her. “I don’t know,” He admits. “Hey, Puffy?” 

“Yes, Tommy?”

“Should I be good this year?”

**Author's Note:**

> hehe :)
> 
> i didn’t proof read so if typo i hope u closed ur eyes


End file.
